Note:  This post originally appeared on Balihoo's old blog on 11/25/09 by Alex Fascilla

Black Friday, as the retail marketing industry dubbed it, has grown to gigantic proportions in a race to determine the most materialistic day of the year: a rat race of overspending; a gluttony for new debt, a general desecration of the modern civilized shopping experience. Okay, I apologize; perhaps that was a snap judgment. In most cases, people participate in Black Friday to score an unbelievable bargain on a gift for a loved one en route to getting a good portion of their holiday shopping out of the way.

The author, however, sees this as a day to score himself a 32″ Sony Bravia for $379 simply by being quick on his feet and unafraid to throw elbows at invading soccer moms that roll like a hurricane through helpless mega-stores like Target. But has it ever worked out like that for him? Absolutely not. You ask, more importantly, “does that deal exist?” Yes, it was recently in a leaked Kmart ad. That isn’t the point, however. The point is that after three attempts to conquer the ‘doorbuster’ deals that are the foundation of the Black Friday ideal, the author has been left empty handed, walking aimlessly through a store featuring regular prices until eventually settling on his third and most indifferent choice for Mom for H/K/C*: sorry Ma, no 10″ digital picture frame for you this year… another pair of ‘Mom jeans’ it is; and you don’t have to lie, I know they’ll eventually burrow to the bottom of your jeans drawer–No returns either, the author doesn’t believe in gift receipts. And he got up at 4:30 am for that? 4:30 am? Is that even a real time?

The reality is, this is what your local retail marketing superstore wants to happen. They want you to enter on the premise you’ll be walking out the front door, a hair past 5:22 am, $4 Blu-ray player in hand, well on your way to the best and most affordable gift-giving ceremony ever, when in reality, you drag yourself out of bed at Satan’s hour to end up with Mom jeans at regular price, surrounded by people that are seemingly grumpy we’re nearing the happiest day of the year, made even crankier by the lingering Thanksgiving hangover. This author has to admit, these retailers are pretty darn good at what they do.  Is this the pinnacle of local marketing ideas? 

So to all those that are going to brave the extreme temperatures, long-lines, and a chance to get one of three $7 Wii’s that are “* Per Location“: good luck. To all others, I’ll see you at noon. I hear there’s a special on musical ties.

*(Hanukah/Kwanza/Christmas)