That's correct, another May brings yet another Month of the Mustache here at the Balihoo offices.  POW!  Now, some might argue for a name change like "Must Ache May"* (as in, "dude, your wife must be aching for you to shave that thing off.") or even "Mustake May" (as in, "growing this mustache was a huge mustake."), but those silly naysayers just don't understand how important it is for a man (or woman) to prove their follicle density annually via some upper lip cultivation. 

May becomes for us a month of soul-searching and self-reflection, culminating after a period of 2-3 weeks into a query that resembles: "is it possible this mustache I wear is a measure of my worth?" KABLOOM! That's some heavy stuff, man.  Let's keep things topical and not think about mustaches and how they have the potential to become yardsticks for existential musings and instead focus on their power to transform the look, attitude, and general well-being of all that adorn them. I mean, look at this guy!:



Recall for a second great men from history that have worn their hearts on their sleeves by way of hair on their lips:  Albert Einstein, Salvador Dali, George Washington Carver, Freddie Mercury, Ambrose Everett Burnside, Tom Sellick, Janet Reno, Mario, Rollie Fingers, William Howard Taft, Luigi, Ron Burgundy and the Channel 6 news team, Burton Leon Reynolds... you get the idea.  The unifying theme here? They all derived their collective power from their perfectly manicured cookie dusters.  



To harness such power, very clear and specific rules must be followed.  Balihoo Culture has dictated the following:

1.    You’re allowed a three-day run at the month as far as growth is concerned.  This means shaving of the upper lip must occur on/by 12 midnight April 28th, Mountain Standard Time.  Each year, some poor sap is granted a growth-challenged exemption from this rule.

2.    If the ‘stache becomes unmanageable or begins to affect your marriage (our own Steve Nett fell victim to the latter even though he was crowned '09's winner... sorry buddy, your fame overwhelmed), you’re allowed to shave it after a picture of your ‘stache has been taken. You WILL be ridiculed for early withdrawal/non-participation.

3.    Once you’ve decided on your desired shape and size, the mustache must be obvious. No goatees, beards, Charles Darwins, etc. allowed.

4.    You must comment frequently/loudly on other ‘staches you encounter.  It’s good to encourage your fellow ‘stachemates to keep morale up. You never know how bad things are back home.  ‘Staches have been known to ruin even the strongest bonds of love.  Also, mildly disparaging comments are not encouraged but should be expected so if you’re sensitive, this may not be the event for you.

5.    Arguments over whether it is spelled ‘moustache’ or ‘mustache’ are tired, and quite frankly, I think either are accepted by Webster.  Also, this is not a rule but really more of a comment.

Good luck and godspeed, folks. May 31st comes much quicker than you'd think when you've got a mustache riding on it.

Ready, break!

*must+ache = mustache...  cool!